Well, my grandfather would have said "getting old stinks," because his generation didn't use "suck" with the elegance of my generation. He lived to be 92. When he died, it was in a nursing home, he couldn't see, couldn't hear, had a staph infection contracted during one of his many hospital stays, and couldn't eat. His mind? Still sharp as a tack.
My grandmother turns 90 today. She's had 4 hip replacements, carpel tunnel, hysterectomy, and more. Her hearing is, well, limited...but there. She has macular degeneration in her eyes. Her mind? All there. She still gets around, uses her walker, but still manages to cook dinner, do the daily crossword, iron clothes and clean.
Now, at 90, you'd expect alot of these things...but aging starts MUCH younger and with less innocuous symptoms.
Tipping. What makes a man of 60 start to tip significantly less than he did when he was 40? Age? It could be failing memory. It could have been a deterioration of math skills. It could be the impending fixed income. It could be age. I'm going to assume it's the impending fixed income... I can rationalize that choice.
Patience. How can the bar you went to in your 20s, be too loud to go to in your 40s? Increased sensitivity to sound? The younger set is lounder these days? A change in the decor that makes the sound bounce and increase in volume? Getting older, and having less patience? Nope, gotta be the decor! I know it's not the hearing because I can hear my lil guy in the back of the house when he stubs his toe. I don't think the kids are louder these days (egad, I just called them "kids"...). I refuse to believe it's my "getting older" syndrome... so it MUST be the decor. Did I mention, I only go to my old haunts if I know they've been redecorated?
But lack of patience is a wide-spread aging symptom... lack of patience with servers at restaurants, attempting to cut in long lines by feigning ignorance, asking for help and then getting mad when the answer isn't the one they wanted, yelling at young people for being young.
I'm straddling that line now... at 43... of aging to a point of intolerance... or remembering how fun it was in my 20s and 30s. I'm lucky to have a 3 y.o. that keeps my foot firmly planted to the younger side of 40... but I feel the ever growing tug of the oldies side.
I know I'll always tip 20% or more... my fear is that the "customary" tip will go to 30% and no one will tell me...or my mind will fail, and I'll become the "bad tipper". I already have a low tolerance for rude behavior, but it doesn't suffer from an age bias. I think older AND younger people have become more rude. How hard is it to say "excuse me" or "please"? How hard is it to excuse someone who has asked, easier than ignorning me when I ask... I'll let you know you were rude.. ACK... another thing that comes with age. But I like to think of it as a confidence that comes with it, rather than an intolerance.
As my hip reminds me of my changing body, and my breasts rolling to the side when I lay down at night "tip" me to the fact I am aging... or the additional "laugh lines" (WRINKLES people, WRINKLES) that wink at me in the morning mirror... and the 90 y.o. grandparents I've had... I've got 50 more years ahead of me...
I intend to "age" gracefully. I'm going to create "post-it" reminders of these "behaviors" I fear of adopting... so if my mind fails, I'll have these notes... so I can become the sweet ole lady down the street, who has the great halloween candy and has her grandchildren visit her often...and help her decorate at Christmas. The woman who helped keep a neighborhood connected and together through good works, and a sweet disposition.
I'm going to make sure that MY aging, doesn't suck.
 |
| My grandmother, currently 94, and now, because of a series of small strokes, she's had to go to a nursing home because she can't walk, talk or feed herself. My aunt goes to feed her dinner every night. |
Now, at 90, you'd expect alot of these things...but aging starts MUCH younger and with less innocuous symptoms.
Tipping. What makes a man of 60 start to tip significantly less than he did when he was 40? Age? It could be failing memory. It could have been a deterioration of math skills. It could be the impending fixed income. It could be age. I'm going to assume it's the impending fixed income... I can rationalize that choice.
Patience. How can the bar you went to in your 20s, be too loud to go to in your 40s? Increased sensitivity to sound? The younger set is lounder these days? A change in the decor that makes the sound bounce and increase in volume? Getting older, and having less patience? Nope, gotta be the decor! I know it's not the hearing because I can hear my lil guy in the back of the house when he stubs his toe. I don't think the kids are louder these days (egad, I just called them "kids"...). I refuse to believe it's my "getting older" syndrome... so it MUST be the decor. Did I mention, I only go to my old haunts if I know they've been redecorated?
But lack of patience is a wide-spread aging symptom... lack of patience with servers at restaurants, attempting to cut in long lines by feigning ignorance, asking for help and then getting mad when the answer isn't the one they wanted, yelling at young people for being young.
I'm straddling that line now... at 43... of aging to a point of intolerance... or remembering how fun it was in my 20s and 30s. I'm lucky to have a 3 y.o. that keeps my foot firmly planted to the younger side of 40... but I feel the ever growing tug of the oldies side.
I know I'll always tip 20% or more... my fear is that the "customary" tip will go to 30% and no one will tell me...or my mind will fail, and I'll become the "bad tipper". I already have a low tolerance for rude behavior, but it doesn't suffer from an age bias. I think older AND younger people have become more rude. How hard is it to say "excuse me" or "please"? How hard is it to excuse someone who has asked, easier than ignorning me when I ask... I'll let you know you were rude.. ACK... another thing that comes with age. But I like to think of it as a confidence that comes with it, rather than an intolerance.
As my hip reminds me of my changing body, and my breasts rolling to the side when I lay down at night "tip" me to the fact I am aging... or the additional "laugh lines" (WRINKLES people, WRINKLES) that wink at me in the morning mirror... and the 90 y.o. grandparents I've had... I've got 50 more years ahead of me...
I intend to "age" gracefully. I'm going to create "post-it" reminders of these "behaviors" I fear of adopting... so if my mind fails, I'll have these notes... so I can become the sweet ole lady down the street, who has the great halloween candy and has her grandchildren visit her often...and help her decorate at Christmas. The woman who helped keep a neighborhood connected and together through good works, and a sweet disposition.
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