A Break from History, A Look at Today! (originally published 06/17/09)

Your life is made up of a series of learning experiences. Sometimes you "learn" the lesson, others you are doomed to repeat because you don't pay attention. 

Lessons are easy and hard. The easy ones you seem to gloss over and sometimes don't even recognize there was something more there than the moment. For example, when you run through the yellow light, in a big hurry, and almost get clipped by another car. At the time, it's heart-pounding, scary and you wonder why you were in such a hurry. The next time you get a yellow, chances are you're not going to gun the car to run through it.

Other lessons are "in-your-face" hard lessons. Loss of a family member, loss of a friend, heartbreak of a bad relationship (although sometimes this is a lesson not learned and repeated), bad decisions in the workplace, placing trust in someone who proves untrustworthy are just a handful of these.

Some of us wallow in self-pity when it becomes too overwhelming. Some of us look for the lesson in the experience. 

I've done both. There's nothing wrong with wallowing except that it keeps you from learning. Eventually, I get past it... and take the time to look at what's been going on, and what the lesson was in what happened. It's tough. It's often not fun, because you find a flaw in yourself that you have to correct, and it's never fun when you're already self-critical, to find yet another glitch. BUT, and this is a big but (not butt), acknowledging it, recognizing it and dealing with it... eliminates it! 

Doesn't mean you might not slip up again, but it makes it less likely.

Ultimately, you feel... better. You feel more self-confident. You feel more in control of your life and you more content with the life you're living. 

No one ever said life was easy, but it doesn't have to be as hard as some people make it. It is what it is... and what you make it. There are so many things to enjoy, embrace and marvel... that wasting time with inward anger seems such a shame.

I'm not sure I'm going to learn all the lessons I need to learn in this lifetime, but I'm going to make a real effort to learn as much as possible before I leave this life. I will be the best student of life, that I can be. And I will hopefully equip my son with the same outlook on life.

If you love yourself, not narcissistically, you exude that love and can share it with others. Love comes from learning, growing and doing the hard work to forgive yourself your faults.

Live life one day at a time, and pay attention.

All Things, To All People

It can't be done.

Not if you're 47, overweight, 15 years married with a 7 y.o. active son and working a job that commands 50-70 hours a week.

And if you're like me, it feels like a challenge to be met. "What do you mean I can't do it all!?"

But realistically, you can barely be all things to one of those things.

Then, exhausted, you capitulate. "Uncle!"

That's when the loving husband says, "Hey, I've got this stock I could sell. I know we should probably do some of the condo work, or pay a bill, but I think you... well, 'we' need a vacation." Normally, the practical side of me would respond, "you're right, we need to do work on the condo..." his face drops..."but, we NEED a vacation. I'm in!" He beams, "I didn't think you'd say, 'yes'?!" I'm glad we're both pleasantly surprised.

Alex is over the moon, when we tell him...Orlando. Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Pool. Fun, fun, fun!

I don't know how many times in the last 6 months my son has asked me to quit my job because he never sees me, or I'm working too much at home, or I haven't been home to put him to bed or seen him the next morning. This vacation would give us that much needed family time. No distractions, no emails, just us all together, playing and talking.

And, time for hubby and I to reconnect. Well, reconnect the best you can with two queen beds in the hotel room, one containing a worn out little boy. Doesn't exactly ignite the libido, but just being away from both our jobs and de-stressing does amazing things for a couple.

We returned with a few days at home, piddlin' around. And topped off vacation with dinner with friends we hadn't seen in 4 years.

Reconnecting... on all levels... family... child... friends...

The only way to be all things to all people, is to be a deity. I don't quite think I'm deity material, so I guess I'm relegated to doing the best I can, for the ones who need it the most from me.

And to do this, priorities have to be reset, time needs to be better allocated, and rejuvenation is necessary!  I also have to be a little easier on myself, give myself a break, so to speak.

I want to be a good mom. I want to be a good wife, a good worker, a good daughter, a good friend.

I don't have to be "groundbreaking"... but I can be good at some, very good at others.

And the family I have, the friends I've chose and who have chosen me, understand... and are willing to meet me half way.

My work? Work I can adjust with the right hires, and the right (rested and rejuvenated) attitude, it can be done... done well, and still have time for my family and friends.

Compromise. Forgiving yourself. Asking for help. Rejuvenation. Dialogue. Love.

It may not be all things, to all people... but it is doing your best for those that are willing work with you.

Alex & Daddy run quickly from the TRex