Pre Op Appt... Last Chance to Opt Out

Met with my doctor today. Dr. Puri of Northwestern Memorial Hospital.  Great guy, and from what I hear from others who have used his skillful hands to replace joints, a great surgeon.

He walked in with the requisite "doc in training," and began to explain what to expect, what he'd be doing, how it would only take about an hour.

An hour?

Uh, doc, it's FULL hip replacement...shouldn't it take longer than an hour? It will take more than an hour just to prep me for the surgery! I want my money's worth.

Anyway, the main thing is that for two weeks AFTER the surgery, he wants all my attention on PT and recovery. After that, if I feel up to it, I can start working. Maybe from home first, and then in the office.

I am going to go stir-crazy.

You can't take a woman who works 50-60 hours a week, consistently (and the rest of the time tries to make up time with her son, husband and small pet) and make her SIT and do intermittent PT. It's inhumane!

My aunt says I should catch up on my beading, and jewelry making. And I'm sure I've got a couple of books on my Kindle Fire that need read. Well, that accounts for a couple hours each day.

I'm sure sleeping will be involved. You know how recouping from anesthesia can be on the body.

Again, ONE HOUR for the surgery...days of getting over the damn anesthesia.

But the most arduous part of this whole journey (other than the pain)... the PAPERWORK! A folder of tests and protocols and agreements and prescriptions and exercises... Ugh.  (more on this later...maybe even a picture)

The good thing is that even though I'm overweight, I'm in pretty darn good health. And scheduling my surgery for the 11th, has allowed the possibility of 1) going to my company's summer party; and 2) attending the Annoyance Theater's 25th Anniversary.

I don't think I'll be doing the "Assume the Position" song & dance number from Tippi... but I can surely sit there and visit with my old friends and fellow improvisors. Hopefully I can walk into both without a limp... and without any pain.

One more errant thought.. I haven't even asked what this is going to cost me in $$. Weird, huh? I guess when you make your mind up to try and better the quality of your life... you just move forward.

Pain...is a pain!

It's been a lonnnnngggg time since I last posted here. It's not that I haven't had something to say, but none of it seemed like things anyone would want to read.

I know, let YOU be the judge of that, but it just plays into my insecurity that maybe I'm just not as interesting as I hope I am.

Lately, however, my current "condition" has given me pause.

I want to share.

On July 6th of this year, I will be 49 years old.

On July 11th of this year, I will be getting a full hip replacement.

I'm not scared. I'm not nervous (at the time of this post).

I'm just tired. Tired of being in pain. Tired of limping everywhere I walk. Tired of not being able to run with my 8 y.o. Tired of not being able to work with him on his soccer or get him interested in other sports. Tired of gasping out of the blue, if my hip moves the wrong way left or right. Tired of not being able to take my pup on a long walk. Tired of not being able to sleep at night. Tired of not having one comfortable seat to sit in.

Just tired.

So, I gave in...and signed up for the surgery.

It means a lot of changes for me and my family.

First and foremost, I hope it means no more pain. No more pain means, more mobility, which should mean greater health...then hopefully, that momentum continues into more meaningful times with my family, greater participation in my son's health and growth, more quality moments with my husband... and greater energy to be more active participant in life.

Until you've had constant, debilitating pain, it's hard to understand just how it can affect your life both physically and psychologically. I thought this was something I could "get over"! I thought big doses of naproxen and some regular PT would help me like it did 4 years ago... when I lost weight, got in shape and thought I had it licked.

Then I gained back the weight AND some, rarely worked out, never had PT... and found myself holding on to a neighbors fence...near tears... barely able to walk the dog home one evening. It's been down hill since that night.

I found I would turn down invites out with friends, especially if they were at bars where I might have to stand for a while. I didn't meet up at the park with Alex because I was afraid I would break down and end up whimpering and crying. At work, I cringe every time I've worked at my desk for more than two hours and then have to stand. I wince anytime I drop something on the floor that I have to pick up.

I went without a haircut because of the effort I would have to make to get over to my hairstylist. I went without lunch with friends because I wasn't sure I'd be able to get there. I've eaten from the lunchroom offerings on my floor at work so I don't have to walk downstairs to get it. I pick my clothes based on what's easiest to get over my foot without having to lift my leg. When I get in the car, on the driver's side, I put in my right foot, then I lean in and place my back against the seat and slide down, and then pull my left foot in with both hands. On the passenger side, I literally have to step back and fling my left leg UP and over the edge of the car to get it in so I can slide in from that side.

It's humbling. It's a drain on your humor. It's not something you can explain to others, with the exception of those who are in the same boat. Then you just have a gathering of really weary people.

So, I'm doing it, getting the ole hip replaced. Stay tuned ... there's lots to share ... and hopefully, it resonates with someone out there.