Quite honestly, I don't know too many of my friends that have embraced resolutions with much success. But hey, whatever floats your boat.
Thanks to a move by my loving husband, shortly after the first of the year we will be credit card debt free for the first time in a VERY long time. While that may not seem like that big of a deal to most, for me, it's an immense weight off my shoulders and opens up 2015 to some real changes.
I've decided to spell them out, and work to achieve them. Again, these are NOT resolutions, these are changes that need to happen and now, have a real chance of becoming reality.
Figure out what you want to be when you grow up.
Yes, I'm 51 and still trying to figure it out. I've had friends tell me, "list out what you like about what you do now." Great idea:
- Team work; working as a group to a common goal, similar to Improv... a "yes, and.." attitude.
- Problem solving; taking 25 years of experience, and thinking outside the box (I know, I hate that term too, but it applies here) and finding the best, most effective way to address the problem.
- Mentoring; straight talk with the younger set. I miss working with a vibrant, young group of people who only want to learn and grow, and helping them realize their dreams. More importantly, teaching them to not only manage UP, but also manage DOWN. If all you're doing is pleasing those above you, you are sometimes doing it at the expense of those who report to you. The dialogue HAS to go both ways.
- Running the project; what I mean by this, as with New Business, they are projects that demand a lot of attention in a short amount of time. There are always a lot of balls in the air, and it's a symphony of moves that can be derailed at any time if you're not on top of your game.
- Silent hero; this is the result of all of the above. You share the glory of the finished project, but you still feel the satisfaction (personally) that you pulled it off and were a key part of the final product. Yeah, it's nice to be recognized publicly (nominated my first year at my current job as Unsung Hero), but it's the knowing nod or smile with the teams you worked with to pull it off.
This list has helped me define some things for myself and what I need to be doing to be happy, fulfilled and be a contributing member of an organization. Much of this could be applied to my time at the Annoyance Theater, performing, directing and helping market and plan events. See my conundrum?
Anyone who knows me, knows titles mean little to me, unless it's "Best Friend," "Best Mom," or "Loving Wife/Daughter/Niece/Sister." I was handed a VP title at my job, so I just did the work we had agreed upon when they hired me, and then some. Three positive reviews, raises and bonuses later, I figured things were cool.
I switched jobs less than a year ago, and haven't been experiencing the same successes or experiences listed above, (with the exception of a fairly good review, raise, bonus).
That brings me to my current introspection, and spending the early part of 2015 figuring out what it is that is best for the future for me and for a company I truly respect and enjoy.
Health is a priority.
After some health scares this past year, it's truly time to get serious about living a more healthy life. I'm not talking about diets. Diets are great, but I want a switch in lifestyle. Eat healthier, move more, spend time with the kid—outside! It's not just for me, it's for the whole family.
If something were to happen to me now, and Alan had to help me get up, move me or any of those things that come with an injured spouse, he couldn't. And I don't have the muscle tone or mass to help him. We have an 11 year old son. This is not a burden I would want my family to endure.
I always love those miracle pills and supplements on TV say they work, in conjunction with eating right and working out! Miraculous, isn't it? Yeah, I didn't think so either. Skip the pills, move your butt! Move more, eat more veggies, less sugar, less fattening foods and move some more! Voilá! Healthier you!
This isn't neuroscience...well, on some level it is if you get your endorphins firing, you tend to crave better foods, less food, feel better... and get healthier. So, I take it back it can be complicated, but all you need to know is move, eat less, sleep, repeat! That's a goal for 2015.
Financial health
Never been my bailiwick but it is now a goal. I've been doing the taxes for the last 4 years (thank you, TurboTax) and I've been itemizing because of some of our unique tax situations. That being said, I see what's coming in and going out. With the reset mentioned at the beginning of this blog, I am confronted with a tableau rosa, and a new start.
My excel skills have progressed in the last few months, and I have a greater understanding of budgeting in our home. So I hope to work with ever-patient husband to develop a family budget and make prudent decisions going forward.
Sounds easy, but for me... it's going to take practice.
Lastly, More Fun...
I have spent the better part of the last year working way too many hours. My lack of good eating habits has left me overweight and out of shape. My friends rarely see me. My family needs more fun time. The balance has to be met.
I want to do more things like Louder Than A Mom at Martyr's. My creative side needs an outlet. I thank Kate and Dee for inviting me to perform in November. I have never been MORE comfortable on stage. I thought I'd be nervous, but when I got up there and started, it felt great. I didn't invite any friends to come, because I haven't really been there for them this past year, so I didn't feel right asking. I sat with some older folks that were there to see another performer. They were sweet and kind and pretty funny. It was nice to be chatting with new people.
I need more of my "girls"... that group of women I surround myself with that are thoughtful, witty, understanding, honest and think I'm funny. There are the moms at school, my old ad buddies, my theater friends, my old softball team, my high school gal pals (all over the country, but just to reconnect with), my college friends with whom I just recently reconnected. My family... dad, brother, stepmom, aunt...and all of them. My poor husband. Reconnection time with him, without the stress. My son. More time to take him to swimming lessons, or drum lessons, or (god-willing) basketball lessons.
Just more time.
I've always prided myself on being a good friend, good wife, good daughter and good mother. I don't feel that way right now.
2015 has to bring change.
Not the year, but me. I have to bring the change. My attitude, my choices, my priorities all have to find their groove. If that means getting some outside guidance, then I'll do that. If it means taking a few hits, then I'll do that.
But 2015 has to be the change I want for me and my family.
I'm at my halfway mark in life. If I'm going to make a meaningful change for the better, why not now. The only thing holding me back is fear.
Excuse my saying so... but in 2015, fuck fear. Yeah, F**k Fear in '15!
I owe it to me.
And when I fix it for me, it allows me to be a better person for my family, my friends, my work, my life.
