Our little talks...

I love dropping off Alex at school in the morning.

I use to drop him off and pick him up, but Alan's taken to picking him up early. This slight change in schedule has had a huge impact. It has cut down on the number of homework issues and tear-filled arguments (sometimes me being the tearful one.)

But it's the mornings where I can get some nuggets from him, some insights into what makes Alex, Alex. It's only a 10-15 minute ride, give or take traffic and construction, but what I learn in those precious few stolen moments is immeasurable.

This morning is a case in point.

We have been talking a lot lately about the "cool table" and who sits there. He doesn't (outwardly) care if he sits there or not, although he is invited to plop his butt and lunch alongside the chosen few. But lately he has chosen to sit with his friends who are not so lucky to be invited to the 4th Grade Exhaulted "Cool" Table. He does it because he doesn't want his other friends to feel left out, and if they aren't invited, then he goes where they are sitting and eats his lunch.

I believe him when he says the "cool table" is dumb. I believe him when he says he just wants to sit with his friend to make him feel better. I believe him when he tells me most stuff.

I know he's holding back when he says, "I don't remember," to the question of "was someone being mean to you?"

The reason I bring this up, was again, the conversation we had this morning. We had been talking about the cool table, when he said, "You know, I use to hate my glasses."

Wow, where did that come from?

I had to ask, "why?"

He replied, "The first day I wore them to school a couple kids told me a couldn't play a game that all my friend's were playing because I wore glasses."

Me, "Who would say a thing like that?"

Him, "I don't remember, they just did."

Me, "But you don't hate wearing them now, do you?"

Him, "No. I like them. I couldn't see the board without them. And I can play games."

Me, "You're not going to tell me who said it, are you?"

Him, (shaking his head back and forth) "Mom, I don't remember."

In those morning conversations, I realize how much my son internalizes. I realize how resilient he really is, despite my fears. I realize if I don't push, he'll talk. He realizes (or is starting to) if he talks...I'll try not to push.

The time in the afternoon with Dad has been revealing as well. It's amazing what 3 hours can have on a relationship. They have really strengthened theirs, which has been wonderful to watch.

Hopefully, someday, I will land upon the "perfect conversation starter" that will allow me to tell Alex, you are a wonderful, sweet, intelligent, caring person who will have a lifetime of adventure, laughter, tears and joy, and in the end... you will be the person you are because of all that you've learned, done and shared. I know that that person will be amazing.