Once again we are celebrating Alex's birthday, and my thoughts turn to you. It was 10 years ago today that you made a decision that changed my life in an immeasurable way. You decided that Alan and I could be trusted to raise your son, as ours. It continues to blow my mind how you could bless US with such a gift.We know it was not an easy decision for you. We know you would have kept him if you could. We know that your heart must have been breaking that day, but you carried through, in fact, you PUSHED your Cradle advocate out the door so we could get Alex home.
Your two children would be 17 and 19 this year. How amazing is that? We talk about you and the kids with Alex, and we still hope that some day you'll want to get together and meet. He tells me how it's "cool that he has a brother & sister," that he'll meet someday. I realize that's probably a tough decision for you, but we're patient. We have all the time.
But there are times when I look in Alex's eyes and wonder, "does he have her eyes?" When he's shy or when he laughs to himself, I wonder "does she do that?" "do her other kids act that way?" Would I see all of these connections if we met? Would I be jealous? Actually, I can answer that, "no!" In my mind we're all one family, and our connection is Alex.I admit, there were times I wondered, "why us?" How did we get so damn lucky? How do you thank someone for giving you the opportunity to be a loving mother? How do you express to that
person just what their decision has meant for your life? How do you live up to that gift while rearing this child? But I can tell you, my goal when it comes to Alex is I want to rear a confident (not cocky), happy human being, who thinks of others as well as himself. Someone who thinks before they run at the mouth (the opposite of me), and considers his words. I want to help give him the tools to navigate a world that can be tough, beautiful, complicated and exhausting.
We love you.
Thank you.
Us
No comments:
Post a Comment